after the last post, I thought, that was just sad. But he could have thought that maybe I felt something, maybe I was’nt just fooling around. My heart will never be whoole, never have meaning, without Terje. But I just wish it was something more than saying “hi” to him. And seeing him less then three times in one month. Maybe I could have had one more chance ? We are going on a trip in the end of may, should I try ? Do I still have a chance ? I beg, pray and hope. Hope and believe, maybe one day, he will be with me. And he will love me, almost as much as I love him, just… Please
as it should be søndag, apr 20 2008
well, I’m sitting here in my bed. Thinking of how I should have been. Almost two months ago, I was with my class a whole weekend. Terje and I had a fantastic time together, I sat on his “fang”, and we talked a lot together. When we were on UKM we sat together and talked and hold hands. I can feel his hand touching mine, even now. After UKM we walked together back to the school and we sat together in this small play-thing, my head was leaning to his and we were still holding hands. Then, we were going to a little cabin and we were going to barbeque there. Since it was in the end of February and a lot of snow, we had a lot of clothes and glows. But when we were going we wanted to hold hands still, but my glow was to small for both of our hands. Terje asked Kine if we could borrow hers, and she mines. Then, we had both our hands in one glow for the whole trip. My hands is shaking now, thinking of how it was. When we came to the cabin we sat together and talked. He asked me a lot of times, and I wanted to. But it just was’nt right. I could’nt kiss him! But what would have happened if I did ? Anyway… When we went to the school again me and Camilla sat with Terje and Tom Erlend. But then, my parents came in and sat down right behind us. I could’nt believe it! So humiliating. Camilla and I moved to Anne, Kine, Gudrun and the rest of the people. And when we all were going home, I said goodbye to Terje, and was waithing for he to hug me, but he was just like, byyeee… But later that night I was so high ! High on LOVE. And I thought he was too. Now, two months later, I’m still sitting here and thinking of my best weekend of my whole life. Thinking that he problably already have forgotten.
